Leaving Beyond – Grounded In Scripture

“Do not be ashamed to learn, and to cast aside your old doctrines and views, but to take up that which you may more plainly see to be in the Word of God.” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon

All churches are the same, right?

I would learn how naive and wrong I was but it wouldn’t be without loss, pain, fear and much wrestling with wanting to stay where it was familiar but where I knew I no longer could because sound doctrine not only was not there, it was not welcome.

I did not know how to find a healthy or doctrinally sound church. Those words were foreign to my vocabulary and search. I didn’t know what I was looking for in a church; I was just looking for a church because I was a new believer and I wanted to be with God’s people. That was enough, or so I thought.

My search began with a simple but misguided prayer that revealed so much of my naivety. I didn’t understand the difference in denominations or that there are “churches” that preach a different gospel. I didn’t know, well, I didn’t know a lot and what I did know was based on a few childhood years of attending church and one year in a Christian school where I memorized many verses of Scripture. Those foundational years had not really set me on a sure course of what a healthy church looks like (but maybe that’s a writing for another day).

That prayer that I had prayed was more mystical than Biblical and the results I got, well, were pretty much exactly what I prayed for. I prayed, “God, I’ll know the church that you want my family to attend by the church who answers their phone first”. Did you cringe? I do when I think about it, but honestly, that is so minor compared to what would follow. At least then I was a “baby Christian”, young in the faith, naive and I could honestly say that I didn’t know any better.

The first church to answer their phone, faithful to my word, we attended and we were there for the better part of 11 years. I raised my young children in that church up to their early and mid-teen years.

While I had attended church for a few years as a young child, my formative understanding of Scripture was in this church I began attending with my children, as a young 25 year old baby Christian.

I was very emotional concerning God’s grace toward me and that He had saved me. In that church sound doctrine was not the main focus, experience was. Everyone was encouraged to come experience the power and presence of God. The music was instrumental to creating an environment for experience.

I believed whatever was taught, took notes vigorously, hung on every word and went forward at every invitation to “experience God”. I was the evangelist and guest preachers dream. They need at least one who will “set the atmosphere” for everyone else to “see what God is doing” so they can be manipulated to come forward and “experience God” as well. If there was dancing, I was dancing. If there was gibberish, I was speaking it. If people were getting a word from God outside of Scripture, I was right there ready to get that word as well. If people were being “slain in the Spirit”, I was right there with them, getting “slain in the Spirit”. I was “all-in”, something I was quite proud of at that time.

The teaching, the music, the expectation for a “move of God” was perfect to lead the naive, gullible sheep astray, at least for a time.

Later, we left that church and attended another not far from it. They did not have the same experiences or manifestations but eagerly sought them. However, much of their teachings came from outside of Scripture with claims that God was giving direct revelation to the pastor just for the people. This had a way of making you feel special and set apart from all those dead churches who just have a Bible.

Those pastors were often good story-tellers, certainly not dynamic, but just persuasive enough that with the right setting – dark lights, emotionally manipulative and repetitive music – and claims of subjective (though unverifiable) experiences and just the right amount of isolated verses taken out of context to appeal to your emotions and your felt-needs, well, they didn’t have to be dynamic to lead you beyond and after more. The sinful desire is already there, add just enough scripture out of context and the right environment and you can convince the gullible and proud that what they are experiencing is of God and that they are more spiritual than those dead Christians who “just don’t have the Spirit like they do.”

Much of my theology in those years, in both churches, was based on teachings that went beyond what is written. It’s amazing now how so many Scriptures come to mind that stand to warn against those exact teachings, yet, in that environment you can hear an entire passage of Scripture and suppress the thoughts that are clearly warning you that something is wrong.

The example set before us was never representative of faithful exposition or proper exegesis. I’m sure that most, if not all of us had never even heard those words or had any real understanding of what they mean. Our example was pastors who came with what they felt like God was giving them new, just for us, and he would find a passage or verse or even one isolated word in Scripture that he could use to support what he claimed God was giving just for us. Too bad for all those other churches, we were special and it was evident that God didn’t need our pastors to preach the Word; He was giving them new words just for us. This is how we were learning to “hear God” and our expectations were set beyond Scripture by the example set before us and the teachings that we should be hearing God speak to us all the time.

God’s Word was used to preach man’s claims of private revelation and not the man used to preach God’s Word.

There is no fear of God before the eyes of many like these. I know that is a strong claim. But how can one fear God of whom ignores the command for the preacher to preach the Word and of whom leads God’s people beyond what is written? What fear is there when doctrines foreign to Scripture are taught as from God without clear and plain teaching in Scripture to support it? How can the fear of God be before their eyes when they must create an environment to cut off critical and Biblical thinking and appeal to the emotions of the people to lead them into experiences and manifestations that go beyond what is written?

But the pastors are not entirely at fault. The people love it! The people are ignoring the thoughts that arise warning them and they claim that those thoughts are of the devil and cast them away. They cast away the truth and they hold firmly to their delusion. Why? They love it. They are invested in it. They are committed to it. They want it to be true. They don’t want the truth. And many, well many are naive and Biblically illiterate.

Their expectations are not set on sound doctrine, godly living and hearing the Word of God faithfully exposited. That’s not as exciting and doesn’t promise them all they desire. They are chasing the next emotional high, the next subjective experience, the next extra-biblical word that someone claims God is giving them for them.

They do not want sound doctrine. They do not want to learn how to correctly study their Bible. They do not want to know the truth, even the dark truth, of their own denominations history. They do not want to study church history. Why? Their expectations have been set on “more!” They want and have been taught to expect something personal, something just for them, something new, something fresh. Church history strips away the delusion that they are as special as they think themselves to be. They dream of their big moment and those formerly before them that are hero’s, well, they dream of their moment to stand alongside them. Their motives for looking back are only to see how great they might be, not so that they may see the truth and realize none of us are great, and there is only one hero in this story and that is Christ Jesus.

With the focus and expectation of God speaking to you beyond Scripture, I had learned a dangerous way to read my Bible and apply it to my life. I didn’t know how to correctly study my Bible and followed the example set before me. I longed for, expected and “needed” God to speak to me beyond Scripture. It was good and all, but I needed more. Common to our vocabulary were words like, “more”, “come expecting”, “God wants you all in”, “I can feel God’s presence so strong in this place and He is about to do something for someone tonight, so get ready”. Words not so common or completely missing or given entirely different meaning were, “sound doctrine”, “expositional preaching”, “a healthy church”. Instead of a healthy church, our common question was, “Is your church Spirit-filled”? And I can’t begin to tell you how dumb that question sounds now even as I write it.

In those years, I would have said that Scripture is Sufficient but I was talking out both sides of my mouth: cognitive dissonance. I had terrible Pneumatology, along with many other dangerous beliefs and practices. I was cut off from doctrinally sound teachers as we were taught that they were dead, dry, Pharisees, had a religious spirit or “just didn’t have the Spirit like we did”. I was cut off from any real or meaningful church history of the denomination I was in. Those teachers did not tell us not to look into church history or to learn how to correctly study our Bible; they didn’t need to. They created expectations beyond what is written, set forth that example before us and minimized and demeaned any voice contrary to their teachings.

We were content in our echo chambers. We were cut off from critical and Biblical thinking and any form of real dialogue concerning the text. We could not give a defense for what we believe and sought to lead people into an experience or just share our testimony. Many in that movement are unable to share the Gospel and rely on personal testimonies, exegeting their experiences, offering to pray with someone (with some of the most unbiblical prayers), share positive words that speak to people’s felt needs and they rely heavily on God to speak to them beyond Scripture to give them a word for someone. They have the Word but in reality it is not enough for them and they don’t know how to correctly wield it.

Those in that movement do not realize that their teachers may “encourage them” to study their Bible and to study church history, but the real craving they are stirring up in them is for what goes beyond what is written and the way they read their Bible and the way they view church history is through a very distorted lens.

But God!

In late 2019 and especially 2020, God graciously opened my eyes to the truth. It was very painful, lonely, scary and hard. The more I unlearned bad theology and learned the truth, the more there was to unlearn and learn. The task seemed more than I could ever bear and at times it felt like I would never be able to open Scripture and not see another verse, another doctrine that I had believed that Scripture was saying was wrong.

The Psalmists seem to often say, “How Long O Lord, How Long” and to that I could relate. How long before my old doctrines are finally conquered and I can look at those verses and simply rejoice?

God is so gracious not to rip us out of bad doctrine and to sound doctrine; He allows it to be painful for our good and He allows us to learn. How else may we grow if we do not learn? Painful as it may have been, I am grateful that I can look back and see God’s grace greater than my sin. I believed those lies. I taught those lies. I wrote those lies. I practiced those lies. And perhaps the thing that crushed me the most was realizing that I had put words in God’s mouth that He did not say and that I had falsely attributed to the Holy Spirit manifestations and practices that were not of Him. I have since repented for all my former bad theology.

I once heard someone who was deconstructing their faith to describe the moment when they realized that some of the doctrines that they had been taught were false and how scary that was for them. They went on to share that worse, was when they realized how all those beliefs were connected and when they began to pull the string, it all unraveled.

Deconstruction is not the same as Reforming one’s beliefs according to the Word of God.

While I understand, in part, what that person experienced in that initial moment of realizing what they believed was false and the fear that comes with that and then realizing how those doctrines are all connected, where we part is that I was looking at the objective truth of God’s Word and seeing that what I had been taught, believed and practiced was beyond what is written. The deconstructionist, however, may use the Bible but they do so subjectively as to what it means to them and not what it means objectively.

When I left those false doctrines, it took years to really get a grasp on how to correctly study my Bible, how to find a doctrinally sound church and years of testing every single doctrine against the more sure Word of God. I’m still learning but it is not scary now when I run across an old doctrine that I once believed.

I am grateful for those who early on helped me learn how to study my Bible, learn how to look into church history and see the dark history of the movements I had been tossed about by, those like: Justin Peter’s Ministries, the American Gospel Documentaries: Christ Alone; Christ Crucified, Costi Hinn, Steve and Paulette Kozar, Voddie Baucham, Dan and Robin Long, Paul Washer, John MacArthur and many others.

And I am grateful to God that He graciously brought me out not only from under false teaching but from further spreading false teaching. I know I do NOT deserve His grace. I know how I misrepresented Him. I am grateful for God’s grace toward a wretch like me, of whom He has justified, sanctified and sanctifying and of the hope and promise I look forward to that one day I will be glorified. This part of sanctification was extremely painful, lonely and scary, but God in His grace brought me out of false doctrine and to the truth.

This is the beginning to many writings, Lord willing, that I intend to encourage saints in sound doctrine and help those of whom God is bringing out of bad theology to learn the dangers of those movements and doctrines, provide resources and writings that lead to sound doctrine.

Grace and Peace

Soli Deo Gloria

April J. Buchanan