Leaving Beyond – Grounded In Scripture

Written by: April J. Buchanan

A man who fears his wife more than he fears God does not love God, nor does he truly love his wife. He is protecting himself. He cares for his own soul and his own comfort.

It is not uncommon among the people of God to see men who speak often of courage, of faith over fear, and of leading their families, yet when tested in these very areas, they fail. Public language and private resolve do not always align.

I have sat under preaching where men speak often of leading well in the church and in the home, exhorting men to become more spiritually engaged with their families and more involved in the life of the church. Yet the problem in many of these churches is not a lack of talk about leadership, but a lack of substance beneath it. These same churches were shallow in doctrine. They tolerated errant teaching and practices. Some embraced theology that was not merely imprecise, but aberrant. They were soft where Scripture commands firmness in order to protect both the church and the home.

They did not confront error. They did not faithfully exposit Scripture. They did not practice church discipline. Love was redefined, detached from truth, and increasingly shaped by sentiment rather than obedience. Though they maintained the appearance of complementarianism, they were steadily influenced by egalitarianism. If asked directly about their theological positions, they sounded orthodox. It was when their practices were examined that the inconsistency became clear. When pressed on why their actions did not align with their stated convictions, they waffled.

Many such men may stand in pulpits. They may not have fully embraced egalitarianism. They may still give verbal assent to complementarianism. Yet when pressed, their convictions dissolve into evasiveness. They avoid clarity. They dodge responsibility. They waffle where Scripture speaks plainly.

Truly courageous men do not boast about courage. They do not speak endlessly of the heroes they imagine themselves to be, nor do they attempt to convince others of what they are not. Their lives are governed by the Word of God. They are unashamed of what Scripture says, even when obedience is costly. They lead according to the Word, and the fruit of such leadership is evident. Their churches are distinct. They are healthy. They are protected from error. When a wolf attempts to enter, whether from outside or arising from within, it is addressed swiftly and biblically.

Authority is often challenged, even within the church. This is no small matter. We are either under the authority of Scripture, or we are slowly and steadily seeking to usurp it. There is no neutral ground. We do not drift into submission. We drift into rebellion, often by quiet and incremental measures that appear reasonable, compassionate, or harmless, until authority has been displaced and the Word of God is no longer governing but merely consulted.

There is, however, a clear difference in a church where Scripture is truly the authority. Where men lead under the authority of the Word, where the church submits to the authority of Scripture, the fruit is evident. Such churches are healthy. They are guarded. Truth is taught clearly. Error is addressed faithfully. God’s design is not merely affirmed in word but upheld in practice.

Women whose hearts are governed by the Word are grateful for the men God has called and qualified to lead in the church and in the home according to His design. She does not seek her own way. She desires the order God has established. She sees His wisdom, His kindness, and His grace in the roles He has given. She is honest about her own sinful nature, which resists God’s order, and she understands the weight of her influence. She knows how easily destruction can come when she is permitted to sow discord through insistence on her own will or through words that are divisive and corrosive to God’s design.

Women who love God and love His Word do not harbor in their hearts a desire for a role or calling that God has not given them. They desire God’s order, because by it God governs all things wisely and well. They see that His order is not restrictive but protective. In His care for His bride, they themselves are cared for. Trusting His wisdom, they rest in the goodness of His design and rejoice in the role to which He has faithfully called them.

In submitting to Scripture, she beholds God’s love, His protection, and His care for her and for His bride. She desires to honor Him and to walk faithfully in the role to which He has uniquely called her. What once felt restrictive to her sinful nature is transformed into something beautiful as she witnesses the peace, health, and protection that flow from submission to God’s Word among His people. She sees beauty in her distinct gifts, calling, and role.

We are foolish when we imagine that we know better than God. We may never say such words aloud, but we demonstrate them whenever we go our own way, when we set our hearts, minds, and desires against Scripture, and when we seek affirmation from others to justify our rebellion. In doing so, we sow discord among the brethren, foster division, and pursue our own will at the expense of faithfulness.

At times, God allows a man to have his own way. At times, He allows a church to have its own way. It never ends well.

Ladies, we must be honest with ourselves. We possess influence, and we know it. If we desire to destroy our homes and our churches, we are often quite capable. The blame does not rest solely with weak men. It also lies with women who whisper in their ears and draw their hearts away from obedience to the Word of God. That disobedience begins in our own hearts.

Grace and peace, y’all.
Soli Deo Gloria