Leaving Beyond – Grounded In Scripture

Written by: April J. Buchanan

In 1998, I lost my second child to miscarriage. I was not saved. I had no theology to ground me, no understanding of God’s sovereignty, no framework by which to process such a loss. I was surrounded by voices that did not help, and in some cases, only deepened the wound. One person had even expressed a desire that my baby would die. Another attempted comfort by saying, “At least it wasn’t a baby yet,” as though such words could lessen the grief of a mother.

My own mother bought flowers and placed them in the hands of my son, who was not yet two years old, and had him give them to me. Even now, that memory remains. The card attached to the flowers is a reminder of that very sweet moment my almost 2 year old son gave me so precious a gift in my grief.

Years later, after the Lord had saved me, I came alongside a friend who lost her little boy near the time of his birth. Her grief was deep, yet there was a light in it. At the time, our theology was not sound, but it was then that I began to bring such loss to Scripture. I began to search the Word of God for answers, for truth, for something more than what the world offers.

It would be years later, after the Lord brought me out of error and into sound doctrine, that I came to see more clearly that Scripture is not silent on these matters. In His Word, God has not left us without hope or understanding.

During that time, I read Safe in the Arms of God by John MacArthur. Through it, the Lord brought a measure of comfort into a sorrow I had never truly dealt with. It helped me to think rightly about the character of God and the hope that one day, I will enter into the same glory in which I believe my child now dwells.

Recently, my husband gave me a small gift as a remembrance of the child we lost and whom we trust is with the Lord. It was a quiet kindness, but one that speaks to a reality we both hold with conviction.

Today, many women are taught that the child in their womb is nothing more than a clump of cells. They are encouraged to end the life of that child if it is inconvenient, unwanted, or interferes with their plans. This is not merely error. It is a suppression of truth. Scripture is clear: God forms life in the womb. He is the author of it, and every child bears His image.

At the same time, many women who suffer miscarriage or infant loss are told that their babies are with the Lord, and that they themselves will see them again, regardless of their standing before God. While I do believe these little ones are with the Lord, it is not loving to turn that truth into a false assurance. A mother’s loss is not her entrance into heaven. At some point, as wisdom permits, she must hear the Gospel.

We do not need movements or awareness campaigns to address this kind of grief. What women need is the Word of God. They need the truth about the life within the womb. They need the truth that confronts sin and speaks to the conscience. And they need the Gospel, the only message that brings forgiveness and reconciliation with God.

Women are not served by being shielded from truth. Nor are they too fragile to bear it. Our souls depend upon it.

We need those who will come alongside women in both truth and love. We need those who will speak honestly about sin, while also pointing to Christ, who saves sinners. We need faithful men who will preach the Word of God without compromise, who will trust that God works through His Word as it is proclaimed.

As Mother’s Day approaches, it will be a time of joy for many, and a time of sorrow for others. Some will feel the weight of infertility. Some will remember children lost. Others will seek to suppress the memory of children they have chosen to murder while the world supported and celebrated them. In all of these cases, the answer is not sentimentality or carefully crafted messages designed to comfort without truth.

There is forgiveness. There is hope. But it is found only in Christ, and it is applied only through the true Gospel.

We do not need sermons tailored to flatter or soothe. We do not need to be set apart as though we require something different from the rest of the body. We need Christ.

Give us the Gospel.

Give us faithful exposition of Scripture.

And trust God to do His work through His Word.

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An additional resource is by Tim Challies, Seasons of Sorrow: The Pain of Loss and the Comfort of God