Leaving Beyond – Grounded In Scripture

Written by: April J. Buchanan

If a Christian widow later remarries in the Lord, and other believers scrutinize her or gossip about her dating or remarriage, the problem is not with the widow but with those who speak against a fellow saint who has submitted herself to Scripture. She is free to marry in the Lord, for Scripture says, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39, LSB). Who are we to speak against what God has permitted or to impose standards He has not given?

I may be an outlier here, but I have always told my husband that if I go before him, I would want him to remarry. I cannot bear the thought of him being alone. He jokes, “I made that mistake once. I’m not doing it again.” I will not bind his conscience with words he may carry after I am gone, should I go first. I do not know God’s timing, and I trust it completely. If it were my desire, we would grow old together and go together. But it is not my will, and I am glad it is not. God’s will is best.

Some feel the need to conceal their intentions when they begin to date or consider remarriage after the loss of a spouse. Families sometimes speak harshly about those who remarry, often without knowing them or understanding the circumstances. They hold to standards that are not found in Scripture, and when those expectations are not met, they justify unkind words against those they claim to love. Yet such judgments are unbiblical. God permits remarriage for the widow, and Scripture does not bind where He has given liberty. “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12, LSB). Who is man to forbid what God allows, provided it is in the Lord?